Welcome

Not really much here in the public area, but feel free to snoop around. If you decide you’d like to look around more you’ll simply need to ID yourself with FB or some other contact info.

Chillax

If you absolutely, positively MUST brighten up your day . . .

This will do it

What do May showers bring?

A gentleman that worked for me years ago told me that there is as much variety in greens in spring foliage as there is other colors in the fall. With age comes wisdom. He’s probably deceased now. But he was right.

 
Ok, here’s a soul-searching question for you? Are you prejudiced? Of course not, Right? Simpler question, then. Would you buy insurance from me?

So . . . you WILL buy insurance from a green lizard, but not an orange one?!?! So, you ARE prejudiced afterall!!

Thinkin’ ’bout the times we had

It’s pretty amazing just HOW full circle things can come. For the past 10 years, the month of May has always brought memories. That first plane trip. That conversation in the grocery store. And of course it took me a L O N G time to let go. Last year I didn’t think much of it. And when I did they were peaceful thoughts.And this year is even better. No wishful thinking. No unrealistic views of days now passed. Past, but passed also. Like the view out the window of a vehicle you’re not controling. Yes, the place the view took your mind to was beautiful. Yes it might be nice to go back and spend some more time viewing. But today, you were not the driver. Accept that you don’t have control of everything, and move on. In THAT sense, it’s passed. AND 10 years in the past.

But I digress . . . things have come full circle. It used to be, I could easily find someone to take me for a little while. And now, of course, the one who wanted to for so many years – who I never let – no longer wants to. No suprise really. Not only have I taken her best years, I’ve taken my best years too. Squandered them all on ‘things’ I wouldn’t even look twice at today.

It seems I have to over-indulge in something now just to drown out me. So what if it’s not drink? Does the fact it’s not smoke make it virtuous?

 

Sorry, I couldn’t resist a slip back that far. So seriously. If obsession to all new levels is to be the daily fare, I need an obsession that is good for me. Growing stuff, while it’s stress reliving for most, is just not releasing enough dopamine or whatever the hell it is that might make me feel good.

And this makes me wonder . . . why is it that most things become an obsession for me, yet I can’t stick to anything? Should I say anything GOOD? Anywho . . .

That’s the point I’ve gotten to. I am too much trouble for anyone to invest more than “How’z it goin’?” into. And it’s my fault, I realize. Thinking how I’d do things differently if I had it to do over again, though it’s easy to do, is just a waste of time. Precious, for there is little left.

I need to do something selfless, so I can at least FEEL something before the clock runs out. Not hearing the ticking of that damn clock – that will be a relief. But before – just before – I’d actually like to feel like I did the right thing. Just that once.

The Race

for procrastinators like us, is against the clock. Here it is going for 11 PM, and I can’t leave the office yet. And more and more people around me are getting this cold virus going around. . . . well . . . I guess it’s my turn.  My desk is littered with 7/8 finished diet pepsi bottles. Mostly white label, but not all. Probably when I finally do make it home, the caffeine will kick in.

I read once that sleep deprivation can cause a manic cycle to start. Not that I wish for that, but it beats the alternative. Well the risky behavior, THAT part my body is getting too many miles on for much more of that.

But I do have to get up n’ atem first thing in the AM

If you came here looking for pictures on this blog, just be grateful there are so few.  Audiodiarrhea is bad enough, imagine visiodiarrhea!! Perish the thought.

I think its strange you never knew

FIFO, then LINO???

Seems rather possible and evermore likely of late. The FI, she left us about 4 years ago now. The LI – that would be the writer – is struggling.

Do you ever get that weird feeling on a forum or sum such place? Where someone that you’ve “seen” around . . . one day you realize you haven’t seen them in a while? Millions of people die on this planet every day, what’s to not think that they were one of them?

Anyway, I need to take a break for a bit to get some things done. The adrenaline of the procrastinators rush used to get me high. Now it makes me wanna die.

Peace.

What do a dead friend and the most beautiful woman in the world have in common

the setting made no sense, but they were both in a dream the other night. The male friend didn’t act as though he knew he was supposed to be dead. The female friend . . . she acted the same as I can ever remember. Great smile. She had no idea just how DDG she really is.

But alas, I woke up. He’s been gone for a few years now. She, I haven’t seen in many years. Yet I know she’s more beautiful today then ever before. And it’s all cool.

Rock on.